Jan 25, 2012

The worst movies I've ever seen...Off the top of my head

This is just a brief list.  I'm sure there are other stinkers that were too boring to be remembered, even as awful. I'd love to see some of your lists in the comments.

How Stella Got Her Groove Back - almost didn't make the cut because I had so much fun watching it with the particular friends I was with at the time. As I recall, the younger guy convinces Stella to pursue her dream of becoming a carpenter in the end, and that was the least far fetched aspect of this too-long movie.

Double Jeopardy - OMG; Tommy Lee Jones, why? WHY?!

U-571 - somehow the makers of U-571 thought that a star-studded cast and dramatic overuse of underwater explosions would compensate for the lack of story or interest in the plot.

Troy - we've seen  it time and again; money and special effects do not make for a compelling drama. The filmmakers of Troy tried to get in front of that particular problem by interspersing the action with seemingly endless conversations between different combinations of characters about how war sucks because someone's kids are always getting killed or it rips up families or something that we are supposed to care about because the characters in the movie are imploring us to care.

Geronimo - In fairness, I saw this when I was 13, and it might actually be a good movie, but I remember it being long and boring and mostly set in a desert. Anyone who has seen this movie more recently, feel free to put me in my place.

Equilibrium - Premise, oh please.

Mission Impossible 2 - Large portions ripped off (shot for shot) from Alfred Hitchcock's Notorious; that is NOT homage, it is theft.

Jurassic Park 3 - I would like to find one person on planet earth who actually legitimately liked this movie. Was this before William H. Macy was cool? Or was it after the second wave of Indy coolness? I do have fine memories of seeing this one with good friends too. Not enough to redeem it, though.

I have more. Maybe yours will jog my memory. Cheers to anyone who is still out there reading after such a break.